The Essence of Marriage

I have been reading Timothy Keller's book The Meaning of Marriage lately and it really has me thinking about relationships in the world today - especially mine and Andrews. In chapter three of the book, The Essence of Marriage, Keller talks about how back in the day there was the bride price. A prospective husband would go to a woman's father and offer him a sum depending on certain factors such as the woman's beauty and the size of her inheritance. We read about this and think to ourselves how awful that sounds and how glad we are that we don't have to worry about that today. Keller points out though that if you stop and think about it, we still do this to one another today in a way. As we continue on with our every day life we look at people and think, "She's in the market" and "He got a bad deal there" and "How did she ever fall for that guy?" These comments are us sizing others up to their assets and deficits, and in the end we want to marry the person because they bring a lot to the table for us. Keller says, "It is almost impossible not to think in terms of how much I am putting into the marriage and how much my spouse is putting in. And if we are getting out of the relationship as much (or a bit more, we secretly hope) than we put in, then we are happy."
Keller goes on to say in chapter three though that over time we see our spouse's flaws more and more and find that we aren't getting as much out of the marriage as we had hoped for. We start to think to ourselves that if my spouse isn't being the spouse they ought to be, I won't put in the efforts to be the spouse I used to be. "He's not doing this like he used to. So why, then, should I do that? If I'm not getting the same value, I don't need to put as much into this." You tell yourself that this is only fair. You justify your withdrawal of the relationship in your mind. Keller says, "The less you feel love, and the less you act loving, the less you feel loving, and so both of you spiral down and down." 
Keller points out that if you have a child you find that the Biblical pattern of love is forced on you. Your child is the neediest human you have ever met and you make numerous sacrifices in your life to raise this child. For a very long time your child can give you nothing in return, and even though the child can eventually give you love and respect, they can never give you anything like you have given them. But whether or not they are giving to you, you give to them. "After spending eighteen years with your child, even if they are an unattractive person to everyone else, you can't help but love them dearly because you've been forced to operate on the Biblical pattern. You had to do the actions of love regardless of your feelings and therefore now you have deep feelings of love for your child, however loveable they are or not" says Keller.
That is why many marriages fall apart after children leave home. Because while parents treated their relationship with their kids as a covenant relationship- performing actions of love until their feelings strengthened- they treated their marriages as a consumer relationship and withdrew their actions of love when they weren't having the feelings.

And here comes my favorite part of the chapter:

Keller says:
Many people say, "I'm sorry, I can't give love if I don't feel it! I can't fake it. That's too mechanical for me." I can understand that reaction, but Paul doesn't simply call us to a naked action; he also commands us to think as we act. "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." 
This means we must say to ourselves something like this: "Well, when Jesus looked down from the cross, he didn't think, 'I am giving myself to you because you are so attractive to me.' No, he was in agony, and he looked down at us- denying him, abandoning him, and betraying him - and in the greatest act of love in history, he STAYED. He said, 'Father, forgive them, they don't know what they are doing.' He loved us, not because we were lovely to him, but to make us lovely. That is why I am going to love my spouse." Speak to your heart like that, and then fulfill the promises you made on your wedding day. 

What a powerful reminder of how to love our spouse and others. We shouldn't love our spouse because it feels good at the time, because everything is fine and dandy and going the way you want it to. No, we should love our spouse because we want to help make them lovely by showing them the love of Christ. I can only pray that the Lord continues to work in my life and help me to love Andrew in this way.

If you haven't checked out Timothy Keller's book The Meaning of Marriage I suggest you do. It has been such a good read so far and a great help in thinking through marriage and relationships.

Pumpkin Muffins

These are one of my absolute favorite fall treats! With the cooler weather we've been having, I've been dying to make some kind of comfort food or some kind of fall treat. Why not just make my favorite fall pumpkin muffins? I hung out with a good friend, Sarah, on Friday night and we were able to enjoy these yummy muffins together. It's a super easy recipe and they turn out so well every time! Here's what you do:

Gather all of the ingredients:

1 box of yellow cake mix (do not follow directions on back of box)

1 15oz can of pumpkin

1 bag of mini chocolate chips

Nutmeg

Cinnamon

Foil muffin liners

Ingredients

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and place your tinfoil muffin liners in your muffin pan. (I swear you need the tinfoil muffin liners. I tried to use the regular ones one time and it was a disaster.)

Mix all of the ingredients:

Mix together the whole box of cake mix, whole can of pumpkin, and the whole bag of chocolate chips in a medium size bowl. The original recipe that I got for these muffins had just these ingredients, but I've found that it enhances the fall taste if you add in some cinnamon and nutmeg. You can add as much or as little as you'd like. 

Yummy!

Once everything is evenly mixed together, fill the muffin liners evenly with the mix and place the pan in the preheated oven for 15 minutes. Sometimes it's hard to tell if these are done or not since the toothpick method doesn't work. Since there are no eggs it's ok to eat them with a little gooeyness in the middle. Fifteen minutes should cook them through though.

Almost done!

Once they are done, take them out and let them cool for a few minutes and enjoy them while they're warm! I make these multiple times in fall because they are the perfect fix for a fall treat craving. Let me know what you guys think! Enjoy!

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Andrew and I have been wanting to go to a Twins game for a couple years now. Last year we never ended up making it and this summer we were never able to make the home games work between our two work schedules and all the weddings we had. We were finally able to make not one, but TWO Twins games last week! We went last Monday with Andrew's parents, and his brother and wife when the Twins played the Indians. It was dollar hot dog day, a beautiful evening and the Twins won 7-2. It was a great game to watch with wonderful company around us and the best weather we could have asked for.

We also went last Friday just the two of us when the Twins played the White Sox. The Twins didn't even score a run that night and lost 0-6. Andrew and I got free winter hats though that came in handy as the sun went down. It got a bit chilly that night, but we had a wonderful time enjoying a night out together. Nothing like watching a baseball game on a lovely fall night!

Enjoying the game and the weather before it got a bit chilly

The free winter hats we got at the game

Andrew loves taking pictures… not

The famous glove picture I was dying to get… Too bad the 

guy doesn't know how to work an iPhone camera very well

At least this one isn't as blurry

The Great Minnesota Get Together

One of my favorite parts of summer is the Minnesota State Fair. It's not just about all the different foods you can try, I love everything about the fair. I grew up making a trip to the fair with my family at the end of every summer. It's a tradition - a part of life for me that tells me summer is coming to an end and fall is just around the corner. It's the last horah of summer. This year I was able to experience the fair three different times: once with my mom, once with my friend Laura, and once with my dad. Each time was a fun experience, and between the three times I went I was able to eat everything on my food list (and more). I will warn you in advance: This is a long post with a lot of pictures of my face and food. I understand that the State Fair is not everyone's favorite (ie. my husband) so this is your warning to not read any further if you do not care about the fair,

 or share the same passion for it as I do.

Round one of the fair this year I got to experience with my mom. We went the first day the fair opened and got there by 10am. We always tour the barns and see the animals first before they get too crowded and before the heat makes them smell worse than what they already do. We saw little piggies being born this year in the miracle birth barn, a little calf, a cow that had grey rings around its black spots, some bunnies, chickens, sheep, goats, horses, an alpaca with very messed up teeth and wild hair, and the anticipated ginormous pig.

As we ate our way through the fair, we watched the parade and toured many of the buildings. That's one thing my mom and I have always enjoyed doing at the fair. We love looking especially in the creative arts building and the 4H building at all the arts and crafts people have created, made, and sewn. I also did the Marine challenge. Women had to hang from the pull-up bar as long as they could. A couple years ago I did it the full 90 seconds to win a T-shirt. This year I could only hang there for 47 seconds… Oh well! I still got a drawstring bag!

My friend Bobby's family owns a tree farm and they had over 10 trees at the fair that had won prizes! Wolcyn Tree Farms located in Cambridge, MN. Check them out this Christmas season!

Of course one of the great things about the fair is eating a bunch of food. My one thing I make sure I get every single year (multiple times) is Dole Whip. I discovered it about five years ago and have been a loyal customer ever since. Dole Whip is a soft serve frozen dessert that is a puree reconstituted with water and then frozen before serving. It is SO GOOD! My favorite is the pineapple, raspberry, or the twist of the two (basically the only flavors besides vanilla). Here is everything I ate with my mom:

We started our day off by splitting a foot long hot dog

My fair favorite: Dole Whip this is the pineapple

A huge beef jerky stick… it was longer than that to begin with

The famous Mouse Trap cheese curds

A pina colada smoothie and a pork chop on a stick.

My mom and I spent a good eight hours at the fair that day. We were both tired, but I couldn't wait to get back for more! Thanks mom for taking a day off work to keep our tradition going of visiting the fair. I enjoyed our time together and am thankful that you like to look through the buildings so I have someone to do that with. 

I got to spend my round two with my good friend Laura who is also a passionate fair goer (it was her round 3). We went around dinner time about six days after I had gone with my mom. We wanted to enjoy the fair in the evening and take in all the lights and night life. We basically ate and walked around the fair. I tried all new food this round of the fair and I loved all of it. My list definitely grew for next year! The first thing we ate was french fried ravioli. We had the meat stuffed and spinach and artichoke stuffed ones. They were so good!

Next we had a pretzel dog which is basically a foot-long hot dog on a stick with a pretzel wrapped around it and you dip it in a cheese sauce. I will definitely be having this one first thing next year!

Last, but not least, we had the deep fried cookie dough. I wanted to try this one last year when it was new, but the stand closed before I could get there so I tried it with Laura. It was phenomenal! I will definitely get this again next year, but I will be splitting it with more than just one other person. We couldn't eat anything else the rest of the night because the ooey gooey cookie dough on a stick left us feeling sick after eating the whole thing between the two of us.

Ooey, gooey cookie dough on a stick.

Once we couldn't eat any more we walked around the fair, people watched (the fair brings out some interesting individuals), and checkout out all the cool rides lit up at the midway.

This is a sculpture made out of all the garbage found in the different lakes in MN. It's one of my favorite things to look at each year because I can't believe how much garbage is found in the lakes (and some of the things found in the lakes) and it's cool to see the sculpture they put together with it.

 

The sun setting on the fair

Some of the cool rides lit up in the midway.

 One of my favorite rides to see lit up at night. I have to walk through the midway every year just to see the ferris wheel.

Laura and I

Laura and I spent about four hours at the fair. Thanks for going with me my fellow fair lover! I had a blast with you trying all the new foods I'd never had before! After two rounds of the fair, I still hadn't had enough. I was patiently anticipating my round three. I still had a list of food to eat and some things to see. Most of all I was excited to spend time with my dad. We went the second to last day of the fair. It was extremely crowed! The fair is always crowed, but the streets were packed this day to the point where a short child would get lost very easily. There also wasn't any grass left where there should be grass. It was trampled down to the dirt so it was a very dusty day too. 

We started off our day by having some lunch:

I had a corn dog (a fair classic that I hadn't done yet) and my dad had some BBQ boneless wings with fries.

Of course we had to pick up my fair favorite: Dole Whip

This time I had a twist cone and my dad tried Dole Whip for his first time!

Then we met up with my cousin Annie and some friends to share some cream puffs and fried pickles:

After all that eating we took a break in the International Bizarre and listened to a band while I got a henna tattoo.

Later in the day we meandered up to the North Woods area to get some snacks. We got hot apple dumplings and some kettle corn to share while we watched an amateur show on a random stage.

For dinner we had some corn on the cob from the corn stand. It's seriously some of the best corn I've ever had. A fun fact about the corn: It is grown in my hometown Monticello, MN especially for the fair every year. Of course I need to get the corn at least once while I'm there!

Another must on my list at least once a year is the deep fried snickers on a stick. I had this for the first time three years ago and I've gotten it every year since. Next year I might try the deep fried oreos. I heard those are pretty good too!

One thing that was new at the fair this year was raspberry wine ice cream. I heard it was a must-try, but I was so full from everything else that I just sampled it. It doesn't beat my Dole Whip, but it sure is good!  I might have to split some with someone next year!

Raspberry wine ice cream sample and some caramel apples

Every year on the last Sunday of the fair there's the talent show finales. My in-laws introduced this to me a few years ago. I wasn't able to make it last year, but this year my dad and I decided to meet up with my in-laws and go. There was some really good talent. We saw two young brothers play a piano duet (they were so cute), a young girl sing a song in opera, a young boy dance to Michael Jackson (he was really good), a teenage boy do a cool yo-yo routine, and many other interesting acts. It was fun to watch and best of all: It was free!

 A beautiful sunset from the grand stand while waiting for the talent show to start.

Watching the talent show. The stage looked cool all lit up.

My husband Andrew doesn't share the same passion about the fair as I do. He went with me last year and decided to take the year off this year. He's not a fan of the crowds, the slow meandering walk, and all the fried food. He had one request though: he really wanted me to bring him home some of the famous Sweet Martha's Cookies. My dad insisted I had to bring him home more than just a small cone of cookies, so my dad bought him a bucket of cookies… Let's just say they didn't even make it a week in our household.

After a long and hot third round at the fair, I was ready to head home and take a cool shower. We had spent about ten hours at the fair that day. Thanks so much dad for spending the day with me! I really enjoyed our time together and all the yummy food we shared!

Me and my dad at the end of the long, hot day

Met up with my cousin Annie and friends at the end of the day again for fireworks.

After experiencing the fair three different times, spending a total of twenty two hours at the fair, and eating everything and more on my list, I'd definitely say it was a successful year at the Minnesota State Fair. I can now say I'm ready for fall and to put my gym membership to good use after eating all that fried food! Here's until next year Minnesota State Fair!